So there we were...the three Musketeers, laughing and joking at my place on the weekend I was so desperately trying to recover from my cold. I was taking prescriptions. I was taking bush remedies. You name it...I was doing it. The guys came over to help lighten my mood and assist in making me comfortable. We had talked about the Jjimjilbang for a while, but moreso in jest than seriously. I mean...what man in his right mind would want to suggest something that could raise the eyebrows of his peers?
So as Sabbath drew to a close, we got dressed and prepared to make our way to Grand Aqua 24 hr. Spa. Three train transfers and an hour of travel later, we arrived at the right stop and began heading in the general direction of the bright lights, traffic and the mall. Laughing and joking all the way, our mirth was a thin veil to the nervousness we actually felt. The word bathhouse still conjured images of hairy Greek men, perfect in body leering lasciviously at each other in some Turkish bath setting. The conversation we were enjoying was mildly indicative of my friends imagining the same thing: getting off at Gaiwei ("gay-way") station for example, among other very...err..suggestive happenstances.
We got a little lost and then went to ask directions. Turns out we were just across the street from our destination, which in turn was just across the street from a Love Motel. Blank stares plastered our faces before riotous laughter. "Que sera, sera". If this turns out to be one big gay...well...at least we'd know why so many of the local men look so metrosexual.
We enter and immediately are greeted by stares that make one feel completely alien. After paying and struggling through some Konglish (Korean + English), we're given towels, locker keys and a change of clothes. HOORAY! Clothes! There shall be no nudity here this day and we breathe a sigh of relief as smiles break out across out faces. As I stepped forward to put my shoes away, a man next to be glared through my very soul. Peering back, I wondered what his problem was until I glanced down and saw that I had crossed into the barefoot zone with my Steve Madden boots clearly still on. I gasped and scurried away from his hateful gaze to take them off and then, with bowed head, shuffled to the locker and put my shoes away before catching up with the guys.
As we entered the male locker room, we were greeted by the doorsman, a concession stand and...you guessed it....naked men everywhere. NOOOOooOOooo! Lies! Deceit! Silently we glanced at each other and smirked our way to our lockers, our eyes making four with just about everyone passing us by. Growing weary of the shifty eyed intimidation, I stripped down and asked my brothers "Y'all ready?"
So we walked...the Warriors Three...down the corridor. Peripherally observing everyone either clandestinely or directly staring at us, we reasoned that white and black men in the nude were a rare sight in this Asian country...either that or we mesmerize them 'cause we fine!
We use the restroom, hit the showers and thereafter are introduced to a sight that was part expectation, part surprise and wonder. Everybody's naked. But once in there long enough to get past that, we begin to notice things. There is nothing sexual remotely happening here. The men in here are ranging from our age to the elderly and oddly enough, there are men bathing their sons here. The whole scene looks WAY more family atmosphere than the corrupt images my mind imagined earlier.
We entered the sauna and not long thereafter began making conversation with one of the locals who had actually studied English at one of our institutes long ago. He was pleasant and the conversation helped relieve some of our tension. We then walked to one of the four heated bathing pools...the hottest one...and gradually sank ourselves in. What began as roaring fire to the touch soon became a relaxing and comforting assault to achy muscles and instantaneous relief from sinus blockage. Once comfort set in and we grew accustomed to people either speaking (or staring), we broke rank and went on our different ways: to the cold bath, the steam room and the massage jetstream respectively. I also began to make observations.
One side of the sauna, contained many men who appeared to be taking an old-fashioned, sit-down scrub-down. This perplexed me. Why would men come here to bathe especially when we passed the showers where they could do so? I did find the fathers bathing sons and sons bathing fathers nice. There were also tables where men lay and were being scrubbed by half dressed people. It would be explained later that in the locker room, where shorts indicated that a person worked there and the scrub-down bath was reminiscent of the old days where people came to bathe at the Jjimjilbang because they did not (or could not) bathe at home. Daily showers were more modern luxuries in many countries and for some, old habits die hard. It made sense. We moved from hot to cold and my sinuses sang God's praise. We met an excited local who saw us trying to scurry from the cold water. He commanded us to get back in and jump around in it, which we did. His excitement knew no bounds! He was like an older Asian Li'l Jon and hilarious. We were having a good time until an employee came over and shushed us all loudly shouting and pointing things we did not understand in Korean. We took it to mean we were too loud and boisterous (though it was our local friend who was noise-making and not us). Christ restrained my anger. I hate hate HATE being publicly embarrassed and in a different circumstance, I might have left in handcuffs.
Satisfied with the bathhouse experience, we showered and put on the clothes they gave us, venturing upstairs to see what else existed there. It was a different world! The co-ed facilities were there along with the cafeteria, play arena for children and official massage parlor (which I must return to soon!). We found an ice room, which was refreshing, several alcoves for sleeping if you want to stay overnight (which several people do), several different warm rooms for sleeping, TV watching or laying around and the jjimjilbang itself which is this wonderful stone human oven that you crawl into and cook like a Christmas goose. I don't recommend it if you are claustrophobic, paranoid, high or have bad nerves. All in all, we were definitely impressed, comforted by the women and children and all-in-all family units everywhere which changed our perception of the place and left without any reservations...except one.
While I was taking my final shower, a young Korean male came and through the mirror in front of me, I observed that he was standing not directly behind me but a little off and to the side. Staring at me. I turned around, water still cascading off me and stared him dead in the face. He smiled. He was younger than I. In this twenties if I had to guess and spoke to me a long sentence in Korean which ended in the word "big". I raised an eyebrow and responded "Anio Hangul" losely translated "No Korean (I don't speak Korean). I then asked if he spoke English and he did not respond in the positive. He moved over to the shower next to mine and I could still feel his gaze. Again looking at him, this time with a face indicating I had had enough of being the dog-and-pony-show, he spoke another sentence and ended it with "African". I had no idea where this was going but I said American and he seemed to understand. Rather than wonder what he was considering big while standing behind me and staring as long as he had been, I left the shower and dried off. Seeing my peers ready to leave, I made haste and made eye signals to them as to my "admirer" which they of course laughed about the rest of the night.
Our adventure was successful. We felt no more emasculated than first walking in and rather felt silly about irrational thoughts and empowered. It must have made a definite impression on us because at approximately $6 - $10 entrance fee, I have been back every single weekend thereafter (to a different one of course but still...good clean relaxation and fun with peers after a tumultuous work week? Sign me up!) and with my birthday looming around the corner, I fear I'll be there with some kind of expensive massage and exotic mud-and-hot-stone body rubdown.
Check it out: http://www.grandaqua24.co.kr and check out the photo gallery.
On to the next challenge...the pansori!
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